it's really very difficult to get old and face so many challenges that life throws your way!
in which sense?
in a sense that there's always something!
times are not what they used to be when our parents were our age!
the stress level is definitely not what it used to be...
all i have to do is take a deep breath, count my blessings, and do what i have to do!
Saturday, September 11, 2010
Thursday, September 2, 2010
feel like over-reacting a bit...
So, I have this nasty habit of driving myself insane over events that haven’t happened or may not even come to be or pass! How? I read a monthly horoscope at the beginning of each month. Yes, I know it is general and NOT a personalized one, catered for me and my natal chart. Yes, I know it’s just information and I should take it with a grain of salt but...
So, this month, I’m all freaked out over a few things mentioned:
1) health/vitality may be an issue? teeth and bones to be precise!
2) expenses to rise until October 28th!
3) look for ways to increase income!
4) housing situation or a concern for a parent (or other family member) may come up, one that needs to be figured out quickly! Be ready to bring assistance, if necessary!!!
Issues and how I feel about them:
1) nothing alarming that can’t be handled unless it’s a broken bone!
2) really? what else can be added to my already over-burdened finances?
3) how can I increase my income when I’m on fixed salary? My solution, win the lottery!
4) this one is of a major concern for me! Nothing may happen but after reading about it, it keeps popping in and out of my head!
I have done my best to train myself to be a “NOW” person. It’s a daily struggle and a daily process. At times, certain curve balls come my way and throw me off balance! These are the challenges I welcome in my life but… sometimes, I just don’t want them! Sometimes I just want to BE! Is that too much to ask for?
So, this month, I’m all freaked out over a few things mentioned:
1) health/vitality may be an issue? teeth and bones to be precise!
2) expenses to rise until October 28th!
3) look for ways to increase income!
4) housing situation or a concern for a parent (or other family member) may come up, one that needs to be figured out quickly! Be ready to bring assistance, if necessary!!!
Issues and how I feel about them:
1) nothing alarming that can’t be handled unless it’s a broken bone!
2) really? what else can be added to my already over-burdened finances?
3) how can I increase my income when I’m on fixed salary? My solution, win the lottery!
4) this one is of a major concern for me! Nothing may happen but after reading about it, it keeps popping in and out of my head!
I have done my best to train myself to be a “NOW” person. It’s a daily struggle and a daily process. At times, certain curve balls come my way and throw me off balance! These are the challenges I welcome in my life but… sometimes, I just don’t want them! Sometimes I just want to BE! Is that too much to ask for?
Wednesday, September 1, 2010
Just a bit of much needed venting…
Idiot!
Dumbass!
Dimwit!
Think!
Rude!
Condescending!
Offessive!
Hurtful!
Disrespectful!
Childish!
Temper-tantrumy (!)
Displeasure to see!
Annoying!
Irritable!
Hurt!
Wounded!
Unhappy!
Angry!
Crossed!
Irritated!
Fuming!
Frustrated!
and
Exasperated….
An array of emotions I have dealt with recently
equally by a loved one and a hated one!
How much more tolerance is really needed?
Dumbass!
Dimwit!
Think!
Rude!
Condescending!
Offessive!
Hurtful!
Disrespectful!
Childish!
Temper-tantrumy (!)
Displeasure to see!
Annoying!
Irritable!
Hurt!
Wounded!
Unhappy!
Angry!
Crossed!
Irritated!
Fuming!
Frustrated!
and
Exasperated….
An array of emotions I have dealt with recently
equally by a loved one and a hated one!
How much more tolerance is really needed?
Tuesday, August 31, 2010
"dot dot" means ":"
Hold for a moment?
May I take a message?
So hard to get through to people these days. What would it take to make a contact?
I’m just saying…
Hurry up… I need this right now… oh, wait… it’s not that urgent after all!
You can’t please all the people all the time!
I’m just saying…
I used to do what you do many years ago… I can’t type, can you fix this for me?
Sorry, can’t use your name and give you credit for your work… can’t explain to the other party who you are…
Selfish, spineless souls running businesses and breaking spirits!
I’m just saying…
You don’t understand me… things were different when you were young…
Why did you move away? I didn’t choose to be here…
Impossible situations. Dealing, understanding and loving a teenager in the 21st century!
I’m just saying…
I know it all… I’ve read it all… my way is the best way…
You ask a question and instead of an answer you get a sermon on how you should be, how you should act, how you should behave, what you should eat, what you should think…
Really?
I’m just saying…
Patience… Love… Understanding… Perseverance…
My weapons of choice.
What would the outcome be? Remains to be seen and honestly, I can’t focus on the outcome and miss the process and the journey…
I’m just saying…
May I take a message?
So hard to get through to people these days. What would it take to make a contact?
I’m just saying…
Hurry up… I need this right now… oh, wait… it’s not that urgent after all!
You can’t please all the people all the time!
I’m just saying…
I used to do what you do many years ago… I can’t type, can you fix this for me?
Sorry, can’t use your name and give you credit for your work… can’t explain to the other party who you are…
Selfish, spineless souls running businesses and breaking spirits!
I’m just saying…
You don’t understand me… things were different when you were young…
Why did you move away? I didn’t choose to be here…
Impossible situations. Dealing, understanding and loving a teenager in the 21st century!
I’m just saying…
I know it all… I’ve read it all… my way is the best way…
You ask a question and instead of an answer you get a sermon on how you should be, how you should act, how you should behave, what you should eat, what you should think…
Really?
I’m just saying…
Patience… Love… Understanding… Perseverance…
My weapons of choice.
What would the outcome be? Remains to be seen and honestly, I can’t focus on the outcome and miss the process and the journey…
I’m just saying…
Thursday, August 26, 2010
the truth shall set you free
After years, I was finally able to speak my peace… so pleased with the results… chapter closed. It is so heartwarming to see two separate beings, not really knowing each other, come to terms and leave and live in peace!
Heard a song from Dumbo on the radio this morning. How that song always brings tears to my eyes... It actually breaks my heart! It breaks my heart because no matter how hard I have tried, I have not been able to get through to a certain important individual in my life. Perhaps I have and am not getting the reaction I’m expecting to get? Always felt I was being pushed away and punished!
Physical separation should never be blamed for lack of love, emotional support and loyalty. A very painful and hurtful position which I have to come to terms with.
I know it is impossible to please everyone all the time. But is “pleasing” really the issue here? Sometimes, I feel, we have to try too hard and at times we have to “act” or be fake in order to “please”. Is that right?
This much for now…
Heard a song from Dumbo on the radio this morning. How that song always brings tears to my eyes... It actually breaks my heart! It breaks my heart because no matter how hard I have tried, I have not been able to get through to a certain important individual in my life. Perhaps I have and am not getting the reaction I’m expecting to get? Always felt I was being pushed away and punished!
Physical separation should never be blamed for lack of love, emotional support and loyalty. A very painful and hurtful position which I have to come to terms with.
I know it is impossible to please everyone all the time. But is “pleasing” really the issue here? Sometimes, I feel, we have to try too hard and at times we have to “act” or be fake in order to “please”. Is that right?
This much for now…
Wednesday, August 25, 2010
stop the insanity!
judging me... judging you...
we're such weaklings, aren't we? no matter how much and how hard i have tried to cure myself of this calamity, judgement raises up its ugly head from time to time and catches me off-guard!
so, we all have our own "morals" and how we view life and "rights" however, every day, and that EVERY DAY i hear or read something that blows my mind and off i go... cursing... wondering what goes on in the minds of these people... who are these backwards people? oh, how my blood boils...
how am i going to exorcise this judgement demon? is this a bad judgement? am i creating unnecessary karma that's going to come back and bite me in the ass?
oh, dear...
we're such weaklings, aren't we? no matter how much and how hard i have tried to cure myself of this calamity, judgement raises up its ugly head from time to time and catches me off-guard!
so, we all have our own "morals" and how we view life and "rights" however, every day, and that EVERY DAY i hear or read something that blows my mind and off i go... cursing... wondering what goes on in the minds of these people... who are these backwards people? oh, how my blood boils...
how am i going to exorcise this judgement demon? is this a bad judgement? am i creating unnecessary karma that's going to come back and bite me in the ass?
oh, dear...
Monday, August 23, 2010
thoughts of healing...
old wounds have indeed been licked and healed! in order to minimize the scars' appearance, one more step is necessary.
a required act of contrition to someone who has been effected by a past action inflicted by this Self!
been wanting and waiting for this opportunity to heal myself and the other for many years and the door appeared without even asking.
time is now. Universe has spoken.
a required act of contrition to someone who has been effected by a past action inflicted by this Self!
been wanting and waiting for this opportunity to heal myself and the other for many years and the door appeared without even asking.
time is now. Universe has spoken.
Friday, August 20, 2010
just venting... random thoughts...
when will this madness end?
enough of all this non-sense talk over the building of the mosque in NYC. if a mosque can't be built then all the churches, temples and meditation centers must be shut-down, as well. freedom of religion? really?
enough of the religious freaks taking over our lives with "their" fairy tale morals. live and let live, damn it. mind your own business. who died and made you the police of all society?
enough of hate crimes. again, live and let live. if you don't like something or someone, just walk away.
enough of stupidity. enough of glorifying idiotic comments. media must not talk about mundane shit and hammer the same non-sensical information inside the masses brains. people get brainwashed easily.
enough of putting celebrities on pedestals. they do what they do and we do what we do!
enough of bringing the past into the present. past is past and it is gone. deal with the present. BE in the present. do not nurse old wounds and seek pity. you hold the key to your own happiness. no one and nothing exterior can help you.
enough of pharmaceuticals, damn it. most of the population is numb and brainwashed.
enough of needy demanding people... wake up. stop pestering the ones around you and look within.
all i have to say is LIVE AND LET LIVE...
enough for today!
enough of all this non-sense talk over the building of the mosque in NYC. if a mosque can't be built then all the churches, temples and meditation centers must be shut-down, as well. freedom of religion? really?
enough of the religious freaks taking over our lives with "their" fairy tale morals. live and let live, damn it. mind your own business. who died and made you the police of all society?
enough of hate crimes. again, live and let live. if you don't like something or someone, just walk away.
enough of stupidity. enough of glorifying idiotic comments. media must not talk about mundane shit and hammer the same non-sensical information inside the masses brains. people get brainwashed easily.
enough of putting celebrities on pedestals. they do what they do and we do what we do!
enough of bringing the past into the present. past is past and it is gone. deal with the present. BE in the present. do not nurse old wounds and seek pity. you hold the key to your own happiness. no one and nothing exterior can help you.
enough of pharmaceuticals, damn it. most of the population is numb and brainwashed.
enough of needy demanding people... wake up. stop pestering the ones around you and look within.
all i have to say is LIVE AND LET LIVE...
enough for today!
Thursday, August 19, 2010
Why are some days easier than others?
Do all teenagers shut out their parents? what a slap in the face... No matter how hard I try, it seems like I am not getting through! All I know is that everone does their best given the tools and level of understanding they have at that given moment! nobody's perfect, damn it!
Why is "learning the hard way" and "hitting a brick wall head-on" even an option?
Feeling Responsible. Now try to Let Go of this one...!
What to do and how to handle egomaniacs at work? What a challenge...
I need and absolute worry-free time frame to myself... my creative side is trapped and suffering a mental breakdown!
Why is it that certain individuals feel the need and/or find it necessary to always give advise and tell you what you have to do?
Why some people never break free from their shells? If the "old ways" were not beneficial why hold on to them so tightly? Answer: Fear and Ego, fo' so...
Why do I have zero tolerance towards certain individuals and can't get enough of others?
Why do certain individuals only talk and never listen?
Everyday and every moment I'm reshaping myself. Releasing and letting go of the negative, the decayed, and the dilapidated weights, securing an improved foundation for mySelf.
Some days are easier than others...
Why is "learning the hard way" and "hitting a brick wall head-on" even an option?
Feeling Responsible. Now try to Let Go of this one...!
What to do and how to handle egomaniacs at work? What a challenge...
I need and absolute worry-free time frame to myself... my creative side is trapped and suffering a mental breakdown!
Why is it that certain individuals feel the need and/or find it necessary to always give advise and tell you what you have to do?
Why some people never break free from their shells? If the "old ways" were not beneficial why hold on to them so tightly? Answer: Fear and Ego, fo' so...
Why do I have zero tolerance towards certain individuals and can't get enough of others?
Why do certain individuals only talk and never listen?
Everyday and every moment I'm reshaping myself. Releasing and letting go of the negative, the decayed, and the dilapidated weights, securing an improved foundation for mySelf.
Some days are easier than others...
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)